Tears on my keyboard: a rec list

[slashxmistress]

At LEAST once a week,in the fic search comms , someone asks for stories that break your heart , that make you cry. So here ...
FICS TO CRY OVER




First of all, the ones that everyone has read:
Wednesday Night Boys
Infinite, Sometimes
but Not The Song

I don't have to tell you about these unless you're really, really new to the fandom, but hey, if you are those will definitiely make you cry buckets. I guarantee it :)

A Poor Man's Son by ryrolovesbden

Ryan lives in the wealthy section, and Brendon lives on the poverty-stricken side.A government project promises to "improve" living conditions by the eradication of everyone on Brendon's side of town because they're deemed "useless to society". ca1930's

This one is not for the squeamish. If you couldn't watch Schindler's list - you might want to skip this one. It's a bit dark and violent, but it's an amazing example of what can be done with simple fan fiction.

Fragile Things by starflowers

After Ryan's plan of seeking solitude in LA goes disastrously wrong, it falls to Spencer to put the pieces back together again but the one thing he never counted on was falling apart himself.

One of my favorites still- So so hurty, and yet healing, and just amazing.

Absence by arctic_grey

Ryan and Brendon grew up together, but have grown apart. Brendon stayed in Vegas and built his life there, while Ryan left the city to be thrown all over the world by a job he despises. After years of coming and going, they attempt to take a hold of each other once more.

No one should be surprised to see Anna here- she is the QUEEN of tears! This one is such an ache-y look at what you can lose by being afraid.

Ballad For The Lost Romantics (and it's sequel Through The Looking Glass ) by chinophobia

Ryan didn’t exactly plan on being chased down the streets of Vegas by a gang one late night. He didn’t count on being kidnapped either. Much less by someone who claims to be Ryan’s friend and protector, despite the two of them never having met before. And one thing’s for certain in Ryan’s bad luck; nothing is what it seems.

This will leave you broken.
But then:

It’s been three years and things in Ryan’s life are very different from what they used to be. Then one day Ryan gets the shock of his life when he rediscovers someone he thought was long gone. But things have changed.

The sequel will break you into even smaller pieces before putting you back together again.

Certain Coasts Set Apart by skoosiepants

It was easier to get lost on the Virginian coast than Spencer thought it would be.
He’d felt a little stupid at first, retiring into hermitage status at the tender age of twenty-eight, but he’d had the money for it, and been pissed enough, and really just sick of every fucking thing in the entire world at the time – and now he just sort of liked the solitude.

This one will make your heart ache

Everything I Am by pluginxbaby

Brendon sighs and leans against the doorway, briefly closing his eyes to escape Ryan's. "You two break up?" he asks, and he could punch himself for the sliver of hope that rings out clarion bright before he can swallow it down.

"No," Ryan is quick to answer. "No, I love her."

"I know you do," Brendon flatly returns, because that's been Ryan's mantra for the past six months. He's heard it many more times than he would have liked. "So why are you here?"

Ryan's composure breaks, and he looks away. Faux uncertainty is replaced with the real thing along every line of his body. "I do love her," he says again. "I love that I can be there for her, be strong for her, take care of her." He hesitates.

"But…" Brendon supplies.

Ryan swallows and nods in agreement. "But."

"It's not enough," Brendon states with certainty. He knows Ryan. Knows the way Ryan wants things – wants everything – with such drive and intensity. It turned out that Brendon wasn't enough for him, and Brendon takes cold comfort in knowing that she isn't either.

"No," Ryan admits. "She's… Sometimes I need things. Things that she would never understand."

"But I would?" Brendon queries, trying for sarcasm and falling short.

"But you do," Ryan corrects. "I know that you do."

This one just hurts.

Everything Or Nothing At All by dimmingdivine

The first time Ryan disappeared, it was just for a weekend. He had slipped out of bed and stroked Brendon’s hair until he fell back to sleep and when Brendon woke up again his coat and keys and sidekick were gone. Ryan was gone, not even answering Brendon’s calls – not a trace of him from Saturday morning through to Sunday night, late, already-Monday-morning actually-early late. Brendon had been only half-asleep, was restless and cranky and exhausted with worry, watching infomercials to pass the time, because it’s not like he was going to get any real rest with Ryan dropped off the map.

This one hurts too,then there is healing.

Heartbeats by insunshine

There's this guy that Brendon used to see. He never knew his name, never got up the nerve to talk to him, but he was always walking these teeny tiny little puppies, headphones tucked into his ears, hair flopping over his eyes.

Sad, sad, SAD

It's Hard To Be Something You Don't Think You Are by silentalarmxx

Ryan never really gave much thought to his sexuality, just because it seemed pointless to dwell on it, much like it was pointless to let his emotions rule him. He had never really dated in high school and now he knew not to get his hopes up. Once, someone told him that none of the girls liked him because he came off as stuck up or an asshole. Neither was true, but Ryan could understand why someone could think that. The truth was, Ryan was pretty much aloof to everyone around him, even more so now. He didn’t mean to be, he just didn’t really notice people, which worked out, because people never noticed him either.

Angst, hurty, sad, and beautiful

Silence by holycloud

Spencer is all bruised and sitting in the waiting room with his clothes filled with Jon’s blood when Ryan arrives.

“Spencer what happened!?”

Spencer tries to talk but nothing comes out. He gestures with his hands and trembles, on the edge of tears.

Devastating.

So Perfectly Placed by mandy_croyance

She knows him, Brendon's lover. Him. Julia had always liked Ryan Ross. He was kind and sarcastic and would roll his eyes with her whenever Brendon did something particularly ridiculous. And yet somehow this man with the body of a twig and the morals of a streetwalker has stolen her husband.

Brutal and honest- and very, very intensely moving.

Souls Like Wheels by ivesia19

“Will he ever get better?” Ryan asks, the words coming out rough. He hasn’t spoken much lately. “Will he remember me?” he questions, still unable to get Brendon’s look out of his mind, the way that those brown eyes, those eyes that Ryan knows so well, didn’t know him. His words feel heavy and thick in his mouth, and Ryan can almost hear the pathetically sad amount of hope drenching each syllable.

Bittersweet and painful.

The Day The Sky Turned Grey by do_come_in

Some people believe that the gene mutations were Mother Nature seeking revenge for what the human race did to her planet. Some people believe that it was evolution; that it was always going to happen.

Heartbreaking.

And finally, the mecca of heartbreak. The most devastating fic you will ever read.

Futile Wars by arctic_grey

. Brendon and Ryan were together for nearly three years, but the relationship ended in tragedy. After a year of silence they find themselves facing the past, only to realise it's not the past quite yet. In only three days their lives change forever.

This story will crawl up inside you and lodge itself in your heart , where it will ACHE, forever. It is not forgettable, it is not pretty, it is messy, and sexy , and REAL. You will want SO BADLY for it to end well, for somebody to FIX THEM, and you will cry- you will cry BUCKETS!


So that's it for now. Enjoy your tears!
And if this isn't enough, or you need another fix later - check my shiny new tag on del - tearjerker!


ETA: Geralynn just made me cry!!
Hush by buildyourwalls

115 degrees, 2040

In a world where words are measured and time is of most importance, Jon has twenty words left. Everything is a countdown to the next day, a road leading closer to the end.
He looks down at the notepad in front of him, twisting the pen through his fingers, staring at his choices. He has twenty left, and the sun outside is getting brighter as the hours go on.
The window unit air conditioner doesn't satiate the scorching heat, and small beads of sweat drizzle down his neck.
The radio buzzes with soft melodies that lack vocal accompaniment. The generator outside hums loudly. Jon swallows and considers getting water.

He writes instead.

How does someone make the end of the world so beautiful???

ETA 2 - For even MORE check immortal_lights's rec post!!