Living vicariously through fiction

so I think the depression may be finally lifting

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 17:51:49 GMT

I'm reading many and varied things again. I'm starting to get interested in art and creating again- I haven't actually done much - but my head is full of drawings and paintings again and I feel like I could possibly do something other than just exist.

I've been dieting - lost 15 lbs in 4 weeks. I just got fed up with feeling like shit. I think I'm on my way back. :)

comments

No one will understand this but I have to rant anyway

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 15:31:49 GMT

I had to go to bed last night before egosumdraco and boywholived were done for the night. When I left , Harry had been dosed with some kind of date rape potion and was rambling on and on about wanting to go out and shag some blue-eyed , brown haired guys :O - and Draco was freaking out because the antidote he gave him wasn't working...

I get up this morning to see how it turned out and TUMBLR IS DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so, todays lesson: Never go to bed before the roleplay is finished.

comments

I need good Drarry icon( or two)

Mon, 09 Jul 2012 18:32:54 GMT

Somebody hook me up ?

comments

Shiny!

Mon, 02 Jul 2012 07:50:30 GMT

ooooooh this is gonna be fun!

comments

kink bingo 2012 is almost here

Thu, 28 Jun 2012 07:10:25 GMT

I've been mia, but I may be back before you know it!

comments

I GOT MINE!!

Sat, 21 Apr 2012 00:51:17 GMT

Have you??

See how to get it HERE

comments

I made a new Tumblr

Tue, 20 Dec 2011 15:15:17 GMT

for my art journals/moleskines and such

come see it at http://apageatatime.tumblr.com/

comments

I guess I'm just destined to be depressing :(

Fri, 09 Dec 2011 01:15:18 GMT

My dad finally lost his battle with Inclusion body myositis yesterday. He has struggled with it for years and we have watched him getting weaker and weaker. For the past year he was unable to walk and he gradually lost his ability to talk or even feed himself- in the end he was fed through a stomach tube and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. He spent a week in ICU on a respirator and though he did get back to breathing on his own , it was then that he and the family decided to sign a no resuscitation order and let him go when his lungs failed him again.

His life has been mostly pain and isolation for at least the past year and I am happy to know that he is free and painless now - but he was my daddy and and damn but I miss him already.

On another note - any of you guys out there who have anxiety problems have any experience taking Buspar/Buspirone? My Dr.put me on it(added to Paxil) but I swear I feel like it's making it worse - and I have been taking it long enough for the therapeutic effect (3 months now)

comments

Here's a christmas wish you all can help me with easily <3

Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:39:08 GMT

There is no purchase necessary, all you have to do is CLICK HERE register and confirm your email.

It’s a fun site with new deals daily and you might find something fabulous, ( I got a gorgeous pashmina for $6! and a Hello Kitty watch for $5) but even if you just register and forget about it, you can help me win an ipod touch or a Kindle (just in case santa forgets :P)

(you will get a $10.00 credit just for registering as well)

You can also help by boosting the signal - pass the link on !

(apologies if you've already seen this on Tumblr- I'm spamming a bit- I want that Kindle :P)

comments

Is anyone still not on Tumblr?

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 20:36:18 GMT

Well just in case - I issued Morgan a challenge to tell me what was going on in this pic:

and she did! and totally made my day :P

It’d been a long show to say the least of it. Spencer arms hurt in just about every direction, and it didn’t help that Dallon had been gleefully torturing him this whole time, or maybe seducing him. For nearly every song Dallon had been pressing himself playfully against Brendon, pushing their faces too close, licking him, scratching his stomach. Of course, it didn’t make him envious as much as it turned him on. Brendon and Dallon were both his. Both equal in their love towards him, their submission. That’s the way it had always worked.

But now the show was over. Now they were doing their final bow, and Spencer didn’t mind spending a few long moments observing the desperate mess that Dallon was next to him. The expression on his face was more than familiar. Dallon had looked up at him in the same way more nights than Spencer could count. He knew it wouldn’t be five minutes till Dallon was climbing on top of him, begging.

And Spencer couldn’t wait.

You guys should feel free to elaborate - I am very intrigued by that photo >:D

comments

a wake up call

Fri, 11 Nov 2011 23:21:07 GMT

This week the world has lost a few of it's souls a bit earlier than expected,one of my HS friends went to the hospital for back pain-what he thought was a pulled muscle and later that day was dead from pancreatitis. Another friend had been battling liver disease and finally succumbed- on her 49th birthday.
One of Lonnie's work friends very nearly went as well, he passed out, facedown in the parking lot from what turned out to be a pulmonary embolism, passing out saved him - if he'd made it into work- the clot would have almost certainly moved to his heart and killed him.

It's all reminded me how fleeting and precious life is.

So RIP Andy and Pam.

And to all my friends, past present and future, whether we speak everyday or once a year. Whether we are bosom friends or just play silly games together- I am so grateful that you are in my life. You mean the world to me.
Go and tell someone what they mean to you right now- you never know when that chance will be taken away.

comments

hey look I comment ficced!

Sat, 29 Oct 2011 23:18:46 GMT

So did you all know that celtic_cookie was hosting a Unofficial Pan-Fandom Musician RPF Jerk-Off Spectacular! ?

Well she is and you should head over if you haven't and prompt, or fill, or prompt and fill!

But anyway- I filled a couple:

New Panic! GSF circle-jerk

and

Ryan watching Brendon's end of tour strip video on repeat >:D

So yay me.

comments

Listening to Jon Walker on repeat

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 01:15:59 GMT

I'm pretty sure he'll never not be able to reach right down into my soul.

In case I've not made it clear- Jon Walker - I'll always love you best <3

His stuff is so gorgeous, he's a real fucking troubador, but it's making me nostalgic and maudlin. Somebody stop me before I start weeping and you have to come fish me out of my own tears .

Either that or I start writing angsty, heartbreaking fic that will depress everyone.

I miss my JWalk :(

comments

Delicious is fucked you guys.

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 16:12:56 GMT

I am not pleased.
My network is gone.
Most of my tags are gone.

Hide your firearms. I am pissed. >.>

comments

State of Me

Fri, 23 Sep 2011 15:10:08 GMT

Hey! I've been awfully quiet here lately so maybe I should ramble an update. Feel free to skip it if it gets too rambly :P

I seem to have lost my writing muse :( Morgan is off in another time zone living in a castle and having adventures. This is a good thing- but it also kinda feels like I've had a body part removed D:I have phantom Morgan pains every night !!>:D

I had at least one more bingo plotted out for kink bingo- one fic is even half done- but it doesn't look like I'm going to finish before deadline - maybe amnesty - we'll see.

CR is going to all day preschool this year and loves it. He's made a lot of friends -he's quite the popular little guy. I hardly know what to do with myself while he's gone - it's so quiet! You'd think I could write O.O

It doesn't help that I have carpal tunnel in both hands - so bad that my hands ache most days- my fingers are always numb- I have to wear wrist braces 24/7 My doctor referred me to an orthopedic surgeon, but I can't get in until the middle of November. Just have to suffer until then. They're talking about injecting steroids into my wrists , which... ouch- but whatever , if it works I guess. Apparently even with surgery -it can still come back- so I may just be fucked.

I working on mixes for bandomreversebb . I have two that I think are pretty stellar - can't wait to see what someone does with them.

comments

Those already addicted to Tumblr will probably hate me for this :P

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 01:01:24 GMT

But hey! Come check out my pinboard!

http://pinterest.com/justtrish/

comments

Maybe I spoke too soon!

Thu, 01 Sep 2011 20:51:09 GMT

BBB is redeemining itself a little with MY OTP!!! \o/ in a Labyrinth AU omg!

comments

sad robot

Thu, 01 Sep 2011 16:06:09 GMT

SO far I've been so disappointed in BBB wave 2 :(

With a couple of exceptions of course - seratonation's robot fic You Stop, I Start is adorable (and I made the mix - one of the most fun I've ever done!)

and turps's It Came From Within is absolutely delicious and full of the best UST I've read in awhile (and beautiful resolution of course >:D)

There is also a Butcher/Sisky werewolf fic that was quite charming.

BUT there's hardly any Panic fic!! D: What little there is is girl fic, or het, or gen. *pouts* I generally hate girl fic - don't mind het or gen at times but come on where is the epic Brallon fic??? How can there be things like this:
and still no epic Brendon/Dallon fic?? Not even one? - or even Brendon/Spencer ? old skool Ryden idc- anything - bandom - I am very dissappointed >:D

comments

meme thingy

Fri, 26 Aug 2011 20:38:04 GMT

The AO3 meme where you list your top ten stories in terms of hit count.

1. Prostitution Is Revolution
Part 2 of my 'Service' series in which Ryan Ross roleplays as a rentboy for his boys :) newPanic gsf + Ryan

2. You Look Good In Pleasure
Part 3 of 'Service' series Dallon/Ryan !

3. The Price Of Pearls
A little Breezy/Sarah(w/bonus Dallon) I wrote for Morgan >:D

4. If I Go Crazy Then Will You Still Call Me Superman
Brendon/Dallon and Underoos!

5. Room Service
First part of the 'Service' series -Ryan/Spencer/Jon

6. You Are What You Take
in which Sarah decides that Brendon needs a little anal training Brendon/Spencer, Dallon, and Sarah

7. Guess Who's Coming To Dinner
Brendon is a pretty, pretty girl and mostly very good. He only needs a little punishment. Brendon/Sarah/Dallon/Breezy (my fab four ♥ )

8. Innocence
in which Ryan takes advatage of his young student Brendon >:O

9. When I Kiss Your Mouth I want To Taste It
In which everyone loves Brendon's mouth >:D

10. Chastise
Breezy/Dallon pegging!!

If anything is surprising , it's maybe #3- I didn't think many people read femmeslash, especially "girlfriend" fic, but there ya go. I'm just happy to see that people ARE reading :DD

comments

I'm inspiring! >:D

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 16:00:35 GMT

Oh my gosh you guys! Carly wrote a sequel/companion fic to Laundry Day!!

Tangled Up In Blue (And Thinking of You)

I always said I wanted a follow up with Brendon- but I never got around to it. But now there is one!! Go read it and flail at her for being so amazing ♥

comments

because Butch Walker is fucking amazing

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 17:50:24 GMT

You should go listen to the new album stream :
HERE

I'm pretty sure it just became my favorite album.

Ocassionally I forget what a fucking genius Butch is.

Then he puts out an album.

♥

Key tracks : Every Single Body Else
Summer of '89
Synthesizers

comments

Sometimes, life just sucks

Sun, 14 Aug 2011 17:21:48 GMT

So I spent last night in the emergency room -got a migraine that wouldn't break - after about 6 hours I gave up and had Lonnie take me in - but the ER is like a visit to hell itself. I have never been so uncomfortable in my life - the 'beds' are child sized D: and I got this nurse who was nice - but couldn't get the IV started - just kept digging around in my veins - and let me tell you - that HURTS!
She finally called someone else to do it and I got meds - but then I got the bitch nurse from hell -- seriously the rudest meanest person I've ever met. She took it as a personal offense that I had to pee and couldn't walk because I was shaking from the drugs. She basically told me to suck it up and took off leaving me to stagger down the hall by myself.
She practically bit Lonnie's head off for calling her to ask if I could have water because my mouth was so dry- it says right on the wall in huge letters DO NOT EAT OR DRINK without dr's permission!(and apparently I had to have ice chips so he was right to call)

Ugh - and now I have a migraine hangover. If any of you get these complicated migraines ( I get the whole bag - numbness, loss of vision, slurred speech, confusion) you know they can leave you sick and shaky for days afterwards - and there's always the chance of a rebound too - oh just shoot me now :P

comments

Hey new friends (and old friends too)

Wed, 03 Aug 2011 18:11:32 GMT

I've been awfully quiet over here and since I just played in the friending meme, perhaps I should pop in and say hi! So -- hi!

I mostly just post fic in my journal these days and the occasional rant, but I pop up in comments a lot :P

I do most of my pic sharing/squeeing on Tumblr just-trish

If you want something to read my fic is all on AO3 slashxmistress

or I have thousands of links in my Delicious
Twitter feed for my del slashxmistress (get a tweet whenever I add a fic link)

Oh and I'm also ursadiana on aim so if you see me on - feel free to say hi \o/

comments

this is the most awesome pornathon idea EVER

Mon, 01 Aug 2011 02:17:44 GMT

The Brendon Pain Kink Pornathon!

comments

You Look Good In Pleasure

Fri, 29 Jul 2011 23:28:59 GMT

Title:You Look Good In Pleasure
Author:Trish slashxmistress
rating:mature
pairing:Ryan/Dallon
summary:“ Dallon requests a private engagement >:D
beta: aerogroupie
note: part 3 of the Service series

I am terrified, I think too much,
I get emotional when I drink too much,I buy every cry, cause I don't trust

comments